I’m not sure when the illusion shattered…

The unspoken identity of my family of origin…

Well-read

Unique

Intelligent

NOT made out of Ticky tacky

Compassionate and Open minded

Too smart to believe in God

Happy….

Funny….

Was it when we were standing in line at a grocery store and my fathers whispered a derivative remark about what the lady in front of us looked like?

And I realized why I dreaded going places with my dad because that was the norm?

Or was it that time when my mom “humphed” about small minded PTA members after one of them had come over to welcome us to the new school?

If I liked the lady, was I small minded too?

And was it because we were so unique and well read that we rarely seemed to be included in friendly neighborhood barbecues?….. And when we were, why did people seem to look hurt or offended after a brief conversation with my dad?

I thought we were happy because we laughed a lot. Some of the laughter was genuine but… there was that time when on overweight lady dropped her purse near us in a department store and I covered my ears because I did not want to hear any more… When I uncovered them, I heard the dreaded laughter- the only thing that seemed to unify my parents…

I think I was 13.

Today I’m 68.

It’s funny.

Still to this day I wish I could go back and help that lady pick up her things…. And smile at her.

Not laugh… Just smile.

The end