it’s under my skin

tearing and ripping, clawing to get out

it’s curled in my brain,

slurping and drinking, my thoughts simply soup

it swims in my veins,

thumping and shaking, pulsing through me

it lives behind my eyes,

pounding and punching, tears streaming down

down down

when someone raises their voice when their

tone shifts, when they don’t text me with

extra letters trailing off the end of their words

i’m sorry

i just got excited

i made a new friend,

i thought i was funny,

i had a great night until i got in the car

and you yelled at me,

cursed and screamed and i cried,

breath hitching words spilling out

i’m sorry

i didn’t mean to

i’m sorry i thought it was ok i want to be a

good daughter a good sister

a good friend

i want to be loved i want to know what it means

to be held

i want to live

but everytime i try to live

you just kill me

again

i’m sorry

i want to be good enough for you i want to be

perfect for you

i’m sorry i didn’t try hard enough