TW: intrusive thoughts

How can I be good

when I close my eyes

and see branches in the water?

Blood billowing brazenly

from her chest, where her heart

is hot and exposed,

flesh dug out and

skin peeled back

like a grapefruit, but the

pith makes me vomit and the tree

is branching and blooming,

blooming and bleeding

and her eyes are still wide open.

There's rust in the sky,

on the knife and my hands,

and it never will wash off.

_I swear I love my parents and I don't want them to die_

_I swear I love my parents and I don't want them to die_

_I swear I love my parents and I don't want them to die_

God, I know they're going to die

and I think

I'll be the reason why.

I can feel both my hands

and they're out of my control,

so I'll wash them till they bleed

and burn from the cold.

My mother washed my bedsheets,

so they're not really clean.

Guess I'll sleep on the floor this week.

I blew my brains out in my dream

to save the people close to me.

But I'm alive! I'm sick! Not sick enough!

_I'm not crazy_

_I'm not crazy_

_I'm not crazy_

_It's not real._

But it won't stop.

I can't stop.

My blood forms branches in the river.