I need reassurance

constantly

Sometimes I triple check with someone

even though I know it's annoying

like I've checked this for spelling mistakes

Four or five times

I don’t like going somewhere I don’t know

I can’t call anyone on the phone

I can’t even go to my own appointments

by myself

I am immobilized by fear

of not doing it the right way

that reassurance has become

my fuel

l was encouraged to be perfect

by society and its standards

so sometimes it's a relief to get something wrong and not feel bad

———

(I didn’t finish this but it’s been in my drafts for so long….so I’m posting it.)