The expectations weighing me down make me feel as if I'll crumble.

The studying and homework begin to pile up.

I wake in the morning worrying about tomorrow.

I sit in the dark of the basement because I like the way it hides me.

I crawl under my desk and cry.

I have no energy to do anything.

After a long day, there’s just more expecting.

“I'm always energetic,” they say.

“Come on, you'll be fine.” Just one more day.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, continue like everything’s fine.

Expectations weigh me down as if I were holding the world on my shoulders.

But I feel like I’m being dramatic, so I just let it happen.

I let myself fall, but I have to pick myself up before anyone sees.

Because then I would seem weak.

I don’t let myself rest on the ground for a moment longer when I fall anymore.

I just stumble and trip but keep my face off the ground.

Because that would be falling.

But I have to ask myself…

Would I rather fall a few times or trip every day?

The decision is mine, but I act like it’s not.

I blame it on everyone else.

Even though it’s not fair, I can’t blame myself.

I could try and then fail.

Or fail and then try.

I could get up and then give up.

Or I could give up then get up.

I could rise to the top then fall to the ground.

Or I could start on the ground and rise up.

Once the decision is made there’s no turning back.

Or there’s turning back after the decision is made.

There’s ice and there’s snow.

There’s thorns and there’s roses.

We could try and cut the thorns off, damaging the stem which holds us up.

Or we could let them grow into a beautiful rose with its thorns.

Every rose has its thorns.

Know what yours are.

_To everyone out there struggling with depression, anxiety, family, friends, health or self image and more, I’d like you to remember and know which of these comes first._♡♥︎♡♥︎