I was born with a glow inside of me, a bright hope that was so strong it reached out through me to give itself to all

My days from then came and went, a warm hug left over for my memories

Everything is beautiful and wonderful and fair. Life is full of possibilities and I just can’t wait to grow up, to see those wonderful things they tell us about

Because I can be anyone, I can do anything. I’m invincible, and I’m going to change the world. Dominic is going to be an austronaut and Alice is going to be the president

Life is so full of love and laughter and joy! The only bad, rare as it is, is when I fall down and scrape my knees. That hurts, but my mom will always be there with Band-Aids and a smile

But what is this?…

This cloud of darkness- I’ve never seen it before. I reach out and touch it… They always taught me to try new things

I used to fall and scrape my knees

This new hurt doesn’t hurt like that, it doesn’t sting. It just aches and stays. It always stays.

Whatever this darkness is, it never shuts up. It’s always moaning in my ear, day and night, telling me things. I used to listen, listen eagerly- because life is about new things

Now I’d give anything to kill that voice, to burn it and hear it no more.

Where did my wonder go? My lightness and glow? Where is that happiness when I look behind me, ‘cause all I feel now is regret

These cuts inside of me, I don’t know if they’ll ever heal. I’ve buried them deep, so no one can see. If they did, what would they think?

Back before I ever saw that darkness, I had so much meaning, a purpose. Now, I feel pointless whenever I look in the mirror

What once compelled me, excited me, now feels bland and empty. I feel empty. The awe left me when I left that 5th grade classroom

When the dark gets in, that’s the end of youth

But maybe, just maybe, that light and glow are still there, cornered into a hole by the darkness around me

And maybe, just maybe, I can find them again.