“Halt! Who goes there?”

“It is I, Number Two. Though, you may call me Dookie.”

“You’re looking a little… parched. I can’t let you pass without paying the toll.”

“A toll?! No one told me there would be a toll!”

“There’s one for you.”

“This is an outrage! I have slogged through the tunnels of Colon for days to reach my destination and now that I am so close to my journey’s end I am stopped by some troll who demands a toll in order to pass?!”

“I am no troll, you withered piece of dung! I am the muscle that protects the realm of Rectum ensuring only those who are worthy can pass through the sacred opening of Anus. And you cannot pass without a toll.”

“Fine! I’m too tired to fight about it. What’s the toll?”

“Water.”

“Water?! Have you seen me?! I don’t have any water. You said it yourself. I’m parched!”

“I will also accept fiber if you have it.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then you are shit outa luck, friend.”

“How am I gonna- oh. Hold on. I gotta take this. Nature is calling. Yeah?… No, I’m stuck in the realm of Rectum… I can’t pass without paying the toll… Water or fiber… If I did I wouldn’t be stuck would I?.. There’s more coming?.. Can any of them-… Oh you can?.. That’d be great! Okay.. Thanks!.. You’ll have your toll.”

“When?”

“Soon.”

“You better hope so. When my realm gets too full and there’s no one paying the toll, my guy Hem kinda roids out and it’s not a good time.”

“I promise, your toll will be here soon.”

[a few hours later]

“Hey, Dookie. It’s getting a little crowded and still there is no toll.”

“It’s coming! I promise. Just a few more-“

“You hear that? That sounds like-“

“Water! Oh, that’s a lot of water…!”

“Your toll is paid. You may pass.”