Maya and Nix

How do you even start a life after you have lost love in its most grandest form? One way is to hold your baby daughter in your arms, searching her features for shades of her mother and finding more than your heart had ever bargained for.

I was a father now, this flesh and blood was not just Freya it was me also and it was in the end down to me to raise this exquisite soul.

“Everytime i see her eyes shining with tears all i can think of you, Freya”

I remember my first word, it was Nix, it felt cold as it left my lips but the smile on my father’s face was full of warmth, and his face was full of happy lines as well as grey and white hairs in his beard, all i wanted to do was pull them out.

His said that his name was Nix and my name was Maya, I never felt like a child. I was not at all prone to tantrums or outbursts, Nix and the township’s doctor said I was not behaving like other children of my age.

“Her innocence was not born with her, but lost in the nature of her arrival”

Years had passed, i had a gained a teacher when i turned ten, she was an elf, i could not pronounce her name but she told me that in her native tongue it meant rain so in turn my brain called her Rainy, My father had even more grey hairs now, Rainy only taught me i had asked her why i was the only one but in turn i got was silence, the same response to when i asked my father where my mother was or what had happened to her.

“How can I tell my own flesh and blood that she brought about the death of my Freya”

Guilt was running through my veins, my daughter was about to become a teenager and i had not found the courage to even explain to her how her mother was and how she had to come to pass away. I could see innocence returning to Maya’s whenever she was in the presence of the elf teacher, ‘Rainy’ she keeps calling her, she is a good teacher and is learning far more than she would if i was doing the job.

“Letting my daughter down is eating my heart, worse thing is, she will never know”

On the eve of my 15th birthday my father Nix, ‘the silence in the room’ , had decided he needed to tell me about what had happened to my mother…

“This was not going to end well”

…

I love you Baby