Maya and Nix How do you even start a life after you have lost love in its most grandest form? One way is to hold your baby daughter in your arms, searching her features for shades of her mother and finding more than your heart had ever bargained for. I was a father now, this flesh and blood was not just Freya it was me also and it was in the end down to me to raise this exquisite soul. “Everytime i see her eyes shining with tears all i can think of you, Freya” I remember my first word, it was Nix, it felt cold as it left my lips but the smile on my father’s face was full of warmth, and his face was full of happy lines as well as grey and white hairs in his beard, all i wanted to do was pull them out. His said that his name was Nix and my name was Maya, I never felt like a child. I was not at all prone to tantrums or outbursts, Nix and the township’s doctor said I was not behaving like other children of my age. “Her innocence was not born with her, but lost in the nature of her arrival” Years had passed, i had a gained a teacher when i turned ten, she was an elf, i could not pronounce her name but she told me that in her native tongue it meant rain so in turn my brain called her Rainy, My father had even more grey hairs now, Rainy only taught me i had asked her why i was the only one but in turn i got was silence, the same response to when i asked my father where my mother was or what had happened to her. “How can I tell my own flesh and blood that she brought about the death of my Freya” Guilt was running through my veins, my daughter was about to become a teenager and i had not found the courage to even explain to her how her mother was and how she had to come to pass away. I could see innocence returning to Maya’s whenever she was in the presence of the elf teacher, ‘Rainy’ she keeps calling her, she is a good teacher and is learning far more than she would if i was doing the job. “Letting my daughter down is eating my heart, worse thing is, she will never know” On the eve of my 15th birthday my father Nix, ‘the silence in the room’ , had decided he needed to tell me about what had happened to my mother… “This was not going to end well” … I love you Baby

Freya had levelled the realm, bringing all the good and the bad to their knees. ... The smell of fresh burnt ashes was her favourite smell and she missed it miserably. It had been over half a decade since her plan to level the realm had come into being, Freya had put pretend kings and queens into power but she ended up just throwing them to the side or burning them. 'Ugh i miss the smell of a burning no man’s land'. This led her to being in power. Who better to oversee these ashes than me. Some days even being in power was not enough. One day a so-called prince, Nix was his name, had arrived at my palace. I recall culling all the grand families leaving one sole heir in each, he claimed to be the leader of what remained of these grand families. 'Even fat rats found ways into my house'. He was pretty in a ‘not dead’ kind of way. He spouted nonsense for a while, my ego liked being caressed by his nonsensical bullshit, so much so I nearly fell asleep. Ugh. At the end of his speech, I asked what he wanted. I remember him blushing, saying he wanted to marry me, reign over this kingdom as the two of us and eventually have a family. 'Being a mother to a family of rats…' I told Nix that was not going to happen, my throne was crowded enough with my ego and I. He did not act surprised as if he had expected this, he pulled out a sealed urn from his belongings and presented it to me, the smell coming from it, made my eyes wide, the hairs on my arms stand up as well as my heart burning with desire. 'How did the rat bring me what I had craved most?' I opened the urn, inside was fresh ashes, I inhaled the smell, they were human, what had this Nix done? I looked at him, eyes wide, he preceded to explain that he had burned what had remained of the great families. Suddenly the prince had become king in her eyes, as ruthless and as driven as her. She grinned, stood up from her throne and poured the contents onto where she had been sitting, Nix made a move towards it, she grabbed his hand and whispered into his ear: “We shall rule this pile of ash as Queen and King” … I love you Baby

“The more this life inside me grew, the more I knew said feeling would never ever repeat and i want us to be complete, not perfect" It had been 5 months since the goblins had laid siege to our home, I knew Maya was going to come soon regardless if they were here or not. Me being with child had garnered sympathy with residents of local villages, mostly because they did not think I would be capable of such a miracle, Nix rallied them and soon was able to reinforce our walls. “Walls like these demand to be held, because what i will become when they break is not for the faint of heart” Each day closer to Maya’s birth took more mana from me to sustain the energy levels I was used to before Nix’s arrival. A further month had come and gone, we were deep into winter and the siege showed no signs of breaking, The anger in Nix grew, part of him wished for a peaceful resolution so Maya could be born into some semblance of peace, the other part knew what we would do when our daughter arrived (clue; it involved razing the goblin race). “Even the Darkest nights, knowing Maya would be here soon was enough for the people” The night finally came, deepest winter, every roof in our settlement covered in snow, hearths full with warmth and stories despite the threat of Goblinkind, which had slowly remained outside the walls like a piece of burnt meat at the bottom of a stew pot. I started to sweat profusely, and could feel the walls of our room close in, “she was close now”, all my energy and mana disappeared and I passed out. “She has your eyes” Nix had cleaned Freya and Maya up, both of them were in the family bed with the settlement doctor brought into stay with and take care of them. “I will take care of the goblin horde”, Nix whispered into Freya’s ear and kissed Maya’s forehead who cooed gently. “I do this for you daughter of mine, i may be some time” “He was indeed some time, the same amount of time that turns heaven into hell” … I love you Baby

“The gown was white. And the blood? Purple” The thought ran through my head like a freight train carrying all my emotional baggage, Nix stood by my side and all i could process was that this was supposed to be my fucking wedding, how dare she try and hijack it. Cursed goblin! “I actually laughed as her head wheeled through the air after Nix cleaved it from her shoulders” We were monsters and had no problem showing the realm this, some goblin was never going to stop our ruination, Nix lost his humanity when he murdered and burnt the remainder of the great families that opposed him and when he brought the ashes of their remains to me as a gift my world shook. “Our legacy will that we will raze and rebuild this realm every time it takes our fancy” In the wake of the events of the wedding, two things happened, I Freya Queen of this ashened realm was with child. Nix was not surprised in fact he showed different feelings in lieu of the news and wished to be present for the birth and the raising of said child. The same feelings in him sparked longings in me for this child to see this realm and pangs hit my stomach knowing that the realm may never be the same after she is born. Oh, yes its a girl and no, Nix did not know. And the other thing, well, the remaining Goblins declared the death of Kils(yes that was her name) at the ceremony was an act of war. “Green skin will die the same and bleed the same” I told them to let them come, i know that all it was all postering and hot air and nothing was going to come of it, well months after the declaration of war, i was showing that was with child at this point, Nix and I received and envoy into our castle from the remaining Goblin horde, he proclaimed that he knew our secret, we have plenty of them by the way and none are even remotely interesting. But I was getting tired of the goblin’s presence and burnt him to a crisp. I shall mould them into a figurine for my daughter. “We had decided on a name for our daughter, it would be; Maya” The day after this, the goblin horde had finally brought their so-called fury to our doorstep ... i love you baby ... i am making this a sort of series...