i don’t know why i agreed

just for fun she said

and i said yes

i don’t like her,

not like that,

i still love him,

but now-

now we’re dating?

it doesn’t feel real…

it reminds me too much

of when he would kiss me,

cuz she kissed my cheek,

and held my hand

and i wanted to vomit

i need to get out of this

i need to get out of this right fucking now

but how?

how do i do that??

be toxic and make her hate me?

lie and say something is going on

so i can get out of this

i can’t not be single

i need out

i need out please

save me i can’t do this again

i don’t want to be somebody’s girl

honestly i don’t want this

i like the freedom of being single

you said it was just for fun

and then turned around and said

you really liked me

and i was beautiful and nice

god i hate this

i hate lying

i dont you to kiss me or hug me

don’t touch me please

i’m not ready

i’m so scared

get me out of this,

break up with me

say i’m not enough

break my heart i don’t care

because i’ve been eternally in love with

my best friend

and currently i’m in love with

with a guy i met at band

but you are neither of them,

i told you i thought i might be able to like you

but i don’t think i can

i don’t think i can bullshit my way

through this relationship

i don’t want this

i really don’t want this

i don’t want the fucking tiktok relationship

i don’t want the fucking love

i don’t fucking want it

i want my freedom

i don’t want to be someone’s

i want to be free to love and admire

without being a cheater

i want no part in this

honestly just let me go

you’ll learn i’m not worth it

and then you’ll hate me

you’ll regret meeting me.

though i mean,

what can i say?

i seem to have that effect on people