But before Caleb could reveal his answer, Brian quickly gets up from his seat, runs to the nearest window and scans for law enforcement. Obstensibly, none have appeared and the assurance relieves him—There’s still time.

He turns right back to Caleb less foreboding, but still skeptical. He briefly steps forward, arms unsure where to position as his mouth prepares to speak.

“Now Caleb…” Brian starts his reproach then breathes heavily, “when I told you that I wished I could buy the black diamond and make it into a wedding ring, I WASN’T BEING SERIOUS!”

He pauses, walks towards the door behind Caleb, unlockes and opens it, and scans the hallway—still no one…yet. Then nervously continues, “Man, I don’t know how we aren’t being invaded right now.”

Caleb blithes, “I know right! Isn’t that great?!” His serene demeanor and that cherry smile disgusts Brian that he pushes him out of his chair and Caleb collapses onto the floor.

Brian proceeds sternly, “Now you listen here, Mr. Giggly, you see that raggedy bag you brought, you’re gonna take what’s inside it back from which it came, then turn yourself into the police for robbery or…something.”

Caleb replies, mood untampered, “And why would I do that? And why should I listen to you when you just got mad at me for listening to you before?!”

Brian responds and gradually starts sobbing, “You saying this is MY fault for your poor sense of interpretation. Listen man, any second now, a platoon of cops that gonna break into our place and brandish their guns at us. Then they’ll detain us and send us both to maximum security—when I didn’t even do anything but they’ll see me as an accomplice nevertheless.” Brian is back in his seat and pouts, trying to hide his tears.

Caleb replies questionably, “Do you wanna know why I did it?”

Brian doesn’t answer.

“I did it for your marriage coming up. You would always rant to me about how your girl always wants a priceless ring and how you don’t know if you would ever afford one. But now, you don’t have to worry ‘cause I took care of that for you. Please stop crying. As you can clearly see, no officer has showed up and reprimanded us. What if they never do?”

Brian looks up at him, nonplussed by the motive, gets up, kneels down and hugs him. Caleb is also nonplussed by this abrupt aberration, but reciprocates back.

“Thank you, Caleb for this BRUTALLY INSANE yet heartfelt gesture, but I still can’t give her this ring at the wedding or the cops definitely will get called. If anyone sees her with it, she’ll definitely be busted and it’ll be all my fault. What kind of husband would do that to her spouse?!”

Caleb answers, “Haven’t you forgot? You would also ramble about how you believe she’s always cheating on you with other dudes when she’s not home and would post on her story of her with other men. You really think she still values you over all the guys she’s been hanging out with?! I mean, why are y’all even getting married?! You clearly don’t trust her and she clearly does not love you!”

Brian’s eyes widen at the realization and his face becomes more downcast.

“Now YOU listen here man,” Caleb copies from earlier, “I say you use this ring to get back at her for all the anguish she’s put you through. At the wedding, slip this ring on her, doing the kissing then fake a swooning right after. Everyone will stand up, while she will drop down to see if you’re ok and as she yells out for help, someone in the audience will definitely notice the ring and will hit up the fuzz and she’ll get locked up. Simple.”

Brian’s head swings back up, “Bro what?! That’ll never work. She’ll feel for my pulse. I can’t just make my heart stop beating for her.”

Caleb utters, “Well if she already has for you, then you can definitely do it with her. If you can reciprocate with my foolishness, then you can definitively reciprocate with her selfishness.”