It must be me then right?…..

I’m in competition with someone who isn’t even in the race.

SO I’m told…..

But I can’t help myself comparing myself to her.

She wasn’t always my rival.

We were never enemies!

I just can’t help but be insecure about her.

Lies, priority, and fights about her,

led to this Disdain .

All of this led to me feeling unstable, insecure, less than.

We have nothing in common,

politics, love, life and goals….she fits every criteria you’ve been looking for.

Then there’s me.

I’ve been no good from the very beginning.

THE VERY BEGINNING!!!!

I have only gotten worse throughout the years.

I’m the absolute perfect support system.

Soft, tough, loving and agreeable love.

I give it all.

Still in the background, there she is.

She is the only thing in focus,and there i am front and centered…

the blurry figure in the front.

Why…? Am I too much for you?

Not good enough?

Why am I still here????

Everything I am not.

Commonality.

Beauty.

How am I winning, and still in last place…?

How is this the reality.

Why her????

But it’s not her, it’s me.

I’m in the relationship,

I have the prize!

Will there ever be a point where it’s just us?

Without her, Without the denial, without the insecurity???

When will it be just the two of us, without her in the equation?

I need this triangle to end.

I need to be first.

I need to wake up……