Chapter 1.

To be a friend is to demand all that you desire as fast as you can. You can throw event after event just hoping to receive gifts and praise. You can push your life accomplishments so far down everyones throats that you feel a sense of hierarchy in the relationship. You feel you have beaten them to everything in life and won the race. To be a friend is to utilize guilt and pressure to make others feel obligated to please you and remain a great support even through the poor behaviour you exhibit. This allows you to get everything you want and you dont have to show up for anything or anyone if it doesnt benefit you. To be a great friend would mean you are surrounded by loved ones and friends alike for your big moments. When others have similar moments you are too busy, too broke, too advanced to share in lifes gatherings with them. To be an amazing friend is to behave as such and never admit anything, ignore the awkward sliences and distance that forms between friends and just exist for yourselves. Make sure when all is said and done your friends dont feel like friends to you anymore and then you can blame them for slowly drifting away for seemingly no good reason. You can play victim and maybe even receive sympathy from other GREAT friends.