“We have recieved new information from Earth!” the alien said.

Since the 30th century, the planet Saturn and Earth had been exchanging information about various things unique to their world, hoping to someday create a path to both worlds. This piece of information, a journal entry of a 10 year old human child, was invaluable information, especially since this creature, the cat, was already extinct. This entry itself had been discovered in a time capsule buried in the 20th century, a delve into history not like anything in the path. In fact, this very moment, every single alien professor was gathering in this room, as the translation of the human texts in the book were due to be scheduled this very afternoon.

In the afternoon…

One alien stepped up into the spotlight to read the texts. Thousands of other aliens were gathered, ready to take notes on notebooks.

The alien started reading.

“Cat today is a total psychopath. Today, she took down a swift and ate a mouse. She tries to kill me if I don’t give her food at 3AM, and, most of the time, is a giant jumping spider on steroids. Now, I need to go downstairs. I think she’s wrecking the couch.”

“From this information,” the alien continued. “We have figured that cats are deadly creatures which can take down cars and are able to digest electronics. They are also the only known predators of humans and can transform into a gigantic arachnid on drugs. We have presumed that they were likely exterminated from the face of earth for their destructive potential.”

Applause started , and the alien stepped off stage.