_This isn’t a poem but it’s in stanzaaaaaasss don’t come for me🤫_

Yesterday, I realized I forgot what it felt like to hate life

I realized I forgot what crying in my pillow feels like

I realized I forgot how it felt to write down words I could never share

I realized I forgot what it felt like to dread talking to the people you’re supposed to like most

I realized I forgot what it feels like when you’re in a toxic friendship

I forgot what it felt like to be excited by the thrill of it

I forgot what it felt like to laugh through the pain

But in reality, I won’t forget

I won’t forget how hiding behind a laugh felt

I won’t forget how scared I was to leave

I won’t forget how I convinced myself that staying was better

I won’t forget how I was so sure I could fix things

And I can assure you, I won’t forget how it felt when you left

That’s something you don’t forget

That’s something that stays with you

All the things I say I forgot, they are memories

Clear memories that will stay with me like lessons

Memories that will build walls the next time I let someone in

Memories that will make it hard for me to trust someone

I would never truly forget

Sometimes I just like to pretend