“Wait!” I shouted. I knew, this was the moment, that I would lose my best friend. All the hard work into building our friendship structure would be bouldered by three words.

I met him three years ago, when I was lost in my own mind. I had no-one, loneliness was my only friend. Grief was slowly decaying away at my heart, I wanted to be better, stronger in my own mind. But I was weak, limp in my own body.

I was working in my local grocery store, restocking the makeup section, numb to the Brain, then something tapped my shoulder.

“Excuse me?” Said the person, I spun around to reveal this mystery person,

My god, was he good looking.

Say something, god dammit!

“Umm yeah, how can I help?” I responded, he looked awkward standing there, flushed cheeks and a nervous smile.

“ Do you know what contour is?”

Huh? I stared at him confused, but I could sense I smile being risen on my face.

“Contour? Oh, um it’s for your makeup, to make your face look sharper I think-“ I replied, slightly amused.

“ don’t judge me, please, it’s just, uh, my little sisters birthday is in three days, and she kept going on about this contour stick and..” he sighed and looked down at his shoes,

My heart warmed at his embarrassment,

And I couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.

He whipped his head up and started to laugh whilst shaking his head.

“Come on, let me show you what it looks like and how to use it”

“ I don’t want to use it” he said with a frown, I laughed again.

“ I didn’t mean you-“ pointing at him “ I meant, like to show your sister how to use it” waking down to the contour section.

He quickly caught up with me, staring down at me “ thanks, you know I am quite manly, I don’t just go around on my Saturday mornings looking for contour” I laughed again, wow, I can’t ever remember a Saturday being this fun.

I showed him how to apply it, using my hand as a demonstration, then he tried to apply it on my face. It went horribly wrong, so he cleaned it off my face and took me out for lunch as an apology for making me look like a person who stuck their face in mud.

He came back the next day, just wanting to talk to me. I somehow felt a bit of happiness, which was weird as I hadn’t felt anything in years since my sister died.

He started to hang out with me all the time after school and work, he was becoming my comfort. A person who was slowly becoming a home to my heart. I was then introduced to his sister, a little girl, who slowly patched up a hole in my heart, that had been left vulnerable and open for too many years.

His family was starting to become my family. Everything was perfect.

Until, a stupid, stupid day, when I caught feelings for him. Why?! Why!!!

I tried so hard to push them away, forget about them, erase them. But they are like a tan, once you have it, you have to give it time to fade, but I didn’t want to wait, I wanted them to be gone.

We are platonic soulmates, platonic!

And now, I am running towards him in the pouring rain, outside of his house. I ran here, we only live a couple of houses away from eachother. He’s leaving to go to football camp for the summer, and this is the last chance I can get to speak to him properly for a whole summer. I think I might explode if I keep these feelings in any longer.

“Wait!” I shouted. Running towards him.

“Maya? What are you doing out here? We already said goodbye, you know I can’t cry again, it’s not good for my heart!” He demanded, i stood there, heart racing, body numb, my brain repeating my words over and over again, god why does he have to look so handsome in the rain. God, rain! Why do you have to make everything seem so intense!

“I need to tell you something” i said, just slightly louder than a whisper,

“Huh?” Maya you okay?”

“ I need to tell you something” louder this time,

“ okay, what is it? You can tell me, don’t worry, I’ll support you or comfort you no-“

“ I love you!”

Silence.

His face has just been washed over with a tsunami of surprise.

Have I just ruined everything we’ve built?

What if he doesn’t like me?

Oh god,

What have I done.

The embarrassment flooding my body, I turn around and sprint as fast as I can,

I don’t look back, I can’t.

What if I never get my heart back,

Oh no. Stupid boys, stupid feelings.

It’s too much!

I arrive back home so fast, my mind is starting to blur, mortified to my bone.

How will I ever show my face to him.

Silence fills my house,

And the realisation hits me,

I’m all alone again, in this world.

Hearing the rain slash down on my roof, I sit there, with silent tears sliding down my cheeks when I hear a knock on my front door.

I jolt up so quickly, I feel a bit light headed,

Then I drag my feet to my front door, and open it,

Oh,

My.