Hello,

All this trouble is because some misguided individuals in Capital City decided to test a “flying saucer,” which ended up crashing near the imperialists' nuclear weapons cache. Now, I find myself trudging through three feet of powdery snow just to keep the T.V.s—Traverse Vehicles, the tracked snow vehicles we use in Antarctica—in decent working order. My “ladies” are extremely stressed and pushed beyond reasonable limits.

I’ve had to weld plates to reinforce bent frames, use cooking oil as motor oil, and heat diesel fuel with open flames. The vehicles are running non-stop throughout the day, transporting troops, the so-called smart ones, comrades, and of course, this giant saucer decoy.

Although the saucer is just a decoy and mostly made of wood and aluminum foil, it’s still incredibly heavy. Getting it across the snow, ice, and crevasses of Antarctica has proven to be quite a challenge.

You see, after the Great Patriotic War, the government captured war criminal scientists and forced them to continue their work. Some focused on vehicle design, while others were involved in medical advancements. Our “brilliant” vehicle engineers created a wingless, saucer-shaped aircraft, but we barely managed to keep one from exploding on the helipad when we attempted to send it to spy on the country across the ocean. Ultimately, we crashed one right outside the very base we were trying to surveil.

That base contained all the atomic and nuclear bombs, along with the planes to deliver them anywhere in the world. This incident occurred in July '47, and now, just a few short months later, it’s January '48, and we’re trying to convince everyone that we were invaded as well. I feel like this plan will never work, and the very bombs we wished to observe will give us an up-close and personal look!

Please don’t show this to anyone; I’ve been threatened to keep my mouth shut, but I truly don’t believe any of us will survive, as we will be loose ends.

Your loving son.  

P.S. I'm driving the T.V. in the photo I’ve enclosed.