One day

I hope one it will all stop

The random pain that kills me

I’ve watched the blood run down my thighs

While I felt the blood I realized I could have ended it all

But if I do that I betray my mother and father and god

I know I can’t do that

But maybe self harm can temporarily stop the pain?

Maybe just maybe…

Maybe it’s all my fault…

Can it just stop?

I’ve been stabbed before

By a person

But getting stabbed didn’t hurt ..

As much as looking behind you and seeing the person that stabbed you

I felt the blood on my arms and thighs

The after math of doing this for now 6 years

I see the scars while I’m changing my clothes

When I look at my scars I feel disappointed in myself

When will it stop?

One day

One day it will stop but when will that day come?

Death is going to be near if I continue

One day it will be to much

But how much longer till I’m done?

How much longer till im healed?

healed from everything that has been causing my heart to ache…

Done from the cuts and burns

Done from covering the wounds with long sleeves or long pants?

How much longer…?