Making friends is easy. I don’t know why I was so nervous. I mean I’m used to hunting people, other serial killers. I’m good at it but it doesn’t really hone one’s people skills. Dr. Peters recommended I get out and mingle. Oh we hit a speed bump I think.

I wish this trunk had an emergency light. No worries, just gotta get my phone. Mingling was harder than I thought. I guess most people make friends at work but I work alone. Or they mingle with like minds at their hobbies but my hobby is homicidal and very secret so that’s out. So I needed another plan.

There! I got it. It’s great to be double jointed. And we have light! I had a bright idea to make friends too. Dr. Peters suggested I volunteer for a charity or join a church. Silly psychiatrist! Churches are for hunting. My bright idea was to visit a library, a true crime book club.

Oww, Alex is taking those curves pretty fast. The book club was nice I guess. Mostly chicks. I mean I’m a woman but I’m not girly. Leather jacket and tattoos, Alex made me feel comfortable right off. His pal Ritchie was more standoffish but that’s cool. My first friends, we hit it off like family.

Okay, my new pals did a decent job on this knot. I admire a well crafted knot. Sadly this isn’t a bowline but still decent. They’re good guys. Vibing, we hit it off right away. They invited me for drinks to this dive bar. Those comedians tackled me in the parking lot, bound me, and tossed me in their trunk. I could’ve crushed their windpipes but I didn’t want to spoil the shenanigans.

We’re slowing down. I’ll pretend to still be tied. Hate to spoil the fun. Lights out. I never really did friends before. It’s nice to be something other than a hunter. Lights out. Trunkb opens. I’m ready to laugh when I see their eyes, hunter’s eyes. Instinctively, I grip the crow bar nestled beneath my head. My friends not so much. And that’s the moment that I realized it was never the plan for me to make it out alive.