"Please don't look at me like that" Is what I want to say as my heart stops. I feel as if my life is but a second

His eye's are so enticing, I could get lost in them. I feel as if I could tell him anything and nothing at the same time.

"I wanted to talk.. I know your getting over someone and it's been great being a distraction I enjoy being your friend. You flatter me truly. The gifts the places the flowers."

"But" I say quietly

but what? What could possibly be the issue when everything is so perfect right now? Why do you have to mess it up? Just live in the now. What if he tells me I'm being complicated, what if he tells me I've changed.

"I enjoy our time together I really do.." I can't help but loose myself.

why does he stare at me like that?

I don't want him to look away but I'm forgetting what I need to say, he's making it difficult. Why is he so difficult? No, this isn't his fault it's me.. I changed. I wasn't supposed to fall in love, not this hard I was only trying to help.

"Please understand that I don't mind being friends but maybe we could.. Be something else? I don't want to make this hard but maybe we could try."

I don't want to break your heart like she did.

In that moment I could tell that the words I was telling him didn't mush well with what he was thinking.

"What are you saying?" he asked me with his delicate yet eager voice.

"Maybe we could go out.. For real this time you know maybe like a date.." I asked grasping at the ruffles in my dress.

It wasn't particularly hot outside but my palms where getting sweaty as I waited in anticipation for his answer.

"A.. Date?" he asked in a questioning tone.

"Yes?" I said awaiting his response

"Im not sure if I'm ready for that quite yet. I'm still trying to get over my last girlfriend." he said fidgeting with his watch as he looked at me with those eyes. As if pained at the thought.

I see. You can't just erase history, you can't make deals with the past. No, first impressions they last an if I would've met you before you opened your heart, your eyes will be for me. All the time and you'd have love for only me. But he's not ready I understand that but hearing it does hurt. My heart breaks for the mistake I made falling in love with you. I thought our love was true but maybe I moved to fast. I've never dated Before, not sure if this is worth losing or fighting for..

but I need to answer fast because time is continuing to past and I'm leaving him on read in person.

"Oh" I say laughing to myself.

"That's totally fine, you need closure I get that, I'm moving to fast I'm sorry." I say as if it where rehearsed in my mind.

"I do care for you, please believe me. Right now I need to forget, when I'm with you I feel like I can forget." he says with a warm smile cupping my cheek.

"Let's be friends."