Picture in your mind’s eye 2 characters: one named Maranda, and the other named Quinn, both of which so happen to stand near feet away from each other at the Insult Convention.

It is especially important to use your unbridled imagination to create this vivid and robust scene for the best reading experience. It may very well be that the quintessential Daily Prompt entry lies ahead through carefully crafted phantasies and interpretations. Without further introduction or conjecture, I gift to you my bequeathment that is today’s story.

—————————

“You look nice,” Quinn said to Maranda.

“Thanks. I like your socks,” Maranda said.

“Oh thanks.”

Quinn looked down to view his silly socks. He shifted in place awkwardly, trying to find the right things to say. This was his first Insult Convention. How do they transition into insults? They started off too nice, where do they go from there? Quinn started abashedly sweating.

“Let’s skip the pleasantries, shall we? You and I both know we’re not here for small talk,” Maranda said.

Quinn wiped off the sweat from his half-combed brow and smirked. It was time for the insults to spew forth.

“Tell me how you want to die so I can make fun of you for it, you bottom-of-the-barrel, low-life worm!” Maranda hissed.

Quinn began to open up about his deepest insecurities, knowing full well that he will be verbally pummeled into the earth’s crust by Maranda’s vicious tongue.

He started: “I want my life’s story to end in a heroic fashion. Ideally an asteroid would be hurlting towards the planet, and the government would need a volunteer to divert its trajectory. I would be the only one to offer myself as sacrifice for humanity, and I would subsequently be shot into space. The force of my body would bounce off the space rock so violently it would end in a beautiful explosion, a cascade of debris trickling down from the exosphere for all of mankind to witness and applaud.”

Maranda scoffed. “What a long and boring story I could barely stay awake for! Instead of waiting for an asteroid to hit you, why not wait for my fist?”

Maranda punched Quinn square in the face, dislodging 2 adult teeth. Quinn was in much pain, both physically and emotionally, but this is what he signed up for at the Insult Convention…

—————————

Epilogue:

Quinn said, “well now its your turn, idiot. How do you want to die?”

Maranda looked deep inside herself to figure out her truest fate. After a minute of Quinn insultingly and impatiently tapping his shoe, she began to show signs of enlightenment.

Maranda went to say the following: “My best death would ought to be one surrounded by friends and family on my 100th birthday as they wish me a sweetly sorrowful farewell.

“The evening would be full of laughs and joy until the final activity. It would be like hitting the piñata, but instead of a piñata, it would be me. I would let my friends and family punch me and kick me for as long as they needed to.

“For you see, I believe that my wrongdoings I’ve enacted upon my loved ones ought to be righfully punished before my demise. It is only fair.”

—————————

Epilogue Pt. 2

Quinn was in shambles.

—————————

Epilogue Pt. 3

See Epilogue Pt. 4

—————————

Epilogue Pt. 4

He was baffled how stupid, weird, and honestly incoherent Maranda was, so he told her as such. She ran away crying, and so did he soon after, but they both needed it. Quite depressingly, Quinn and Maranda’s only way of opening up to another person was knowing the outcome: that being an insulting one.