It hurts me to write this

But I know what I need to do

Cause if I don’t

I don’t say it

I might not ever let go of you

They told me what love was like

And I experienced it for a moment

For a moment I felt loved

And I knew what it was like to be in love

I have no clue how late I was up

After everything we did

I was still talking to you

I couldn’t fall asleep

And the smile never faded

I knew there was work in the morning

But for once I didn’t care

Staying up late with you felt like the right thing to do

But now it’s 2 years later

And we haven’t talked in a while

Neither of us were perfect

But I doubt you’ll admit that

You were so toxic for me

And I believed I moved on

Yet the tears are falling as I write this

I can’t imagine reading this

Saying these words out loud

But I miss that moment of joy that I temporarily found

I still stay up late watching the hours go by

Just thinking about how I had you for a night

For a moment I felt worthy of something

That I wasn’t below a peasant’s feet

Or a spider with a sharp sting

I was beautiful and a queen

And for a moment

I guess I saw you as a potential king

Sometimes my brain relives that night

Like it never ended

But instead of the happiness

I’m reminded of what I couldn’t get

They look me in the eyes to tell me that I’m fine

And you think I’d agree to save face

But I don’t say anything

Cause no one will know what it’s like to be temporarily loved

For just one long night

Especially if it’s by you

I could push through the dirt

Rise up from the grave

But I’m worried that I’ll never be her again

It feels like a scar

It’s big and along my face

Yet everyone ignores it

Maybe it’s me and I feel unworthy of their love

Cause I believe you allowed me to think that no matter what

I’m the broken doll that got strung along

Who’d rather hide in a night from long ago

That you’ve definitely forgotten about.