I’m a chef.
Could you tell by the title? No? Doesn’t matter.
Does that matter to this story? Also no.
Or maybe yes, depending on how much blood you think belongs in a kitchen.
Anyway, I don’t like serving people. Most of them are just loud, sweaty, and always asking for extra ranch. “Do you have gluten-free?” No, Karen, but I do have rage.
You know what does matter?
The smell of bacon.
It follow...