Shuffling feet

Fidgeting hands

Pursed lips

Tired eyes

Two people

One has everything to say

The other doesn’t know how to hear it

Her

Lingering pain

From years of being too much

She learned not to speak it

But her brain didn’t learn to not remind her

Him

Fearful of connection

Of feeling

So he hides his emotions in gin

And hopes laughter is enough

The silence that comforts him

Is killing her....

Imagine the most ugly creature and your mind will jump to the things of nightmares.

The alien, the demon or the monster under your childhood bed.

But none of those scare me.

The ugliest creature lives inside me.

It claws at the concept of who I believe I am.

It tells me I’m not good enough.

Not strong enough.

Not enough for my friends and family.

Never enough.

It is my inner critic and ...

My bones are aching

My soul

Yearning

For one last chance

To feel your hands

Hear your voice

Smell your existence

One last time

But life isn’t that kind....

And as the waves return to the sea

So the words give way to silence

I can’t spend my whole life questioning

Just who it is I should be

...

People say I should be a mother

A lover

A caregiver

But my bones yearn to be free

...

Moments in life where I give way to the current

Are moments where I feel most at ease

Not pushing or pulling myself

Simply letting myself breathe

...

So I sit

In silence

Wait...