[/cw dismorphia]

I try avoid looking in the mirror. The thing is, I don’t like, what I see. When I look in the mirror I can’t really see myself. It’s like I see a different person. It doesn’t feel like me. Everything is so disorted. My face is not my face. When the mouth of the person in the mirror moves, it doesn’t feel like it is me that makes it move. I see into the eyes of the person in the m...

If wishes fell like rain, then certainly I am a storm.

If wishes fall like shooting stars, I would enlighten the night sky.

If wishes wind up like gears in a machinery, I would fill a factory.

For I wish and wish and wish.

For good days to come.

For trees to grow and the sun to shine.

For waking up in the morning and feeling like existing wont be too hard to do today.

For myself and for others.

Oh...

At some point in childhood it is decided that playing on the playground is something for little kids. But why? What makes us cringe and embarassed in playing on a playground? At what age are we „too old“ for that? At what age is payling on seesaws, swings, climbing frames and slides not right anymore?

The highlight of every child is going to a playground and just running around, giggling, laughin...

A world where everything is perfect doesn't exist. Because things that might seem perfect for oneself, are utterly imperfect for somebody else. I decided to scratch the word "perfect" out of my vocabulary. I rather want to be complete for myself. How I dress, how I see myself, how I like myself. there'll be always someone who's gonna say something about it. But I choose to not care, because my hea...

We have a set of uniform that we have to wear no matter what. It's a simlpe one - black pants, dark green blouse, closed shoes. But we are also allowed to add a little bit of our own personality. For me it's lacing my boots with rainbow colours and putting little charms on. It is wearing a pin on my blouse to signal a queer safe space. It is embroidering the sleeves with little golden stars on it....

I opened my eyes.

Every day, I opened my eyes.

But I could never cleary see.

I only saw what I wanted to believe in.

Wrong

I only saw what society wanted me too see.

But today, I woke up and it felt like I awakened from a dream

A nightmare?

Or rather a dream where I was loved and saved?

Was it a dream or is it reality?

We never know which one is the true nightmare -

reality or illusion?...