I don’t know why but I have this insertion where everything has to be perfect.

School whiteboards, CLEAN.

Messy room, CLEAN.

But every time I try to clean my room/ house.

It’s still dirty.

I’ve lost all my energy.

I’ve lost so much importance.

I’m not anybody anymore.

I’m a nobody....

Who am I?

I don’t know who I am anymore.

I feel like a nobody.

I don’t know how to tell who I am anymore.

I can’t tell anyone because nobody wants to listen to my bullshit that I talk about.

Who would wanna listen to my bullshit.

Nobody.

Everyone hates me.

I’m not loved....

I’m bleeding.

I’m bleeding all the time.

Everyday,

Every night,

Even all day.

I hate myself.

Throw me away.

Treat me like a ruined toy.

I’m already numb enough.

I climb out of the void then fall back in.

I don’t know how to be okay.

I miss being young.

I miss the old days.

I miss laughing all the time.

I miss being happy.

I wish I was happy again.

But I don’t know if that ever gonna be happening ...

The little things she does with my hair,

The little things she does to make me laugh, The little things she does to make me happy. She makes me so happy and proud. She’s always there when I need her.

Her presence makes me happy,

Her smile makes me happy,

Her voice makes me happy,

She makes me happy.

Everything about her makes me happy.

She’s perfect.

Nobody is better than her.

I’m proud of her.

...

Time flies.

When we were all young, we all wanted to grow up.

But now

We want to be young again because time flies.

One we were all zero, once we were all one, two, three, four and even five.

But now, we’ve gotta live life as long as possible.

And “I know times get hard but you gotta keep pushing” I said to my cousin but she didn’t listen..

One day she was all happy

The next day she was gone.

T...

Where’d it go?

All my happiness,

the laughter,

all the times we’d set up plans just for our parents to say no.

It hurts to think back to when we were little and already saying we’re going to get married.

Now you just take away my happiness, my laughter and my freedom.

And your plans of hurting my feelings

They worked.

I hope you’re happy hurting other people like you hurt me.

But just think be...