I live in his mind

The spaces between old lovers and shower thoughts

His mind is my favorite past time

The way he sees this numb world In road signs and rooftops

He sees complexity in my dreary brown eyes

I travel through his day dreams

Searching through his thoughts like a filling cabinet of Manila folders

Ilooking for my name

But it’s wasn’t my name…

It was hers..

Every memory of us sho...

I remember knocking on your office door to bring you coffee or ask about work

The response was always the same

Another closed door and a scholding

But the next day I’d run back knocking

I defended you to my friends

Made them think you were the perfect father

Not the drunk one Coming home at four in the morning

Not the father who I’d hide from behind a locked door from

Not the father I had

I...

I wake up to find myself alone in our bed

The right side of the bed still made

It’s cold without your warm embrace

I reach out hoping to find the slightest hint of you

But I’m just humoring my grieving thoughts

I know the bed will stay unmade

I still smell your perfume on my bed sheets

Tears flow out of my eyes while the raindrops flow off the roof

I wondering if the clouds miss you like I ...

Missing you is a different type of poison

It’s moves slowly creeps into my vains

It drowns my lungs

It’s toxicity doesn’t have a simple antidote

And everlasting cycle of relapse

Missing you is a record on repeat

The words distorting

The music slowly fades into my mind

The repetition stable never shifting

Missing you is a step away from a cliff

Willing myself to jump back into your arms

...

I will never forget the version of you in this moment

I freeze this moment in time and climb the snowflakes with you

As we reach the heavens

I will never forget this moment...