‘Allow me to demonstrate.’ The puffed up royal guard said strolling to the straw dummy, which was currently sporting finer clothes than most of the audience. As he twirled and parried against the fake foe, all he did, was solidify my opinion that he was, frankly, a nincompoop.

Deciding I could no longer subject my eyes to this debacle, I pushed towards the stage, lifted a wooden staff from the p...