i might start needing meds

_i want you i want you i want you_

thundering whispers of things i never said

devouring, heart racing, screaming

my delusion wrings butterflies

splattering in my chest

dripping implications i drink your poison so greedily,

never sated, waited, for some twisted opportunity

etching to splatter again and i try to deface it,

_look at me, take me, love me_

dissect me and...

Every year i get anxious, sick to the stomach, hot vomit pool up in my lungs, knives scratch up my scalp as seconds turn into dust.

Every november i get anxious, as the world turns colder and this feeling that i cant shoulder keeps coming back to me.

Every birthday i get anxious, that im one year older, that im getting closer to days where i will struggle, days where i will have to choose who i ...