TW!!! SA and Abuse

His hands continued to travel from my neck, down to my hips, and then to the waistline of my shorts. _No. _I tell him I am not in the mood. He flips me on my stomach, his weight crushing me, suffocating me. _No._ I tell him I am tired. His fingers pull down my neon pink Under Armour shorts just below the crease where my thighs meet my butt. “No.” I feel him inside of me. “C’mo...

As I lay, gasping for air, my lungs searching for life, and my heart clawing for hope. I try to find the moment it all changed. When did the warmth in death's hands feel so cold? But it’s not fear holding my hand in my last moments. It’s not sorrow, it’s not guilt. It’s bitterness. Because death rejected me when it was my friend, and now it comes for me as my foe....

He follows me like my own shadow, a faint whisper in my ear reminding me of his existence. Taunting me like all he ever wanted to do to me was blur the lines between love and reality, to warp my sense of what love feels like. And yet I still yearn for him like an abandoned child yearns to be held. It's foolish, really, to believe you can miss someone who was never truly yours to begin with....

She was the color orange. A sunrise on a new day, bright and beautiful but to her I was her source, draining my light to fuel hers. Her beauty was heart-stopping, and her glow, breathtaking. My heart pumping for more blood, my lungs searching for more air. And in time, I had no light left to give, and the sunrise slowly faded from view. It still rose, just without me....