I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t want to go viral, especially not for this. I don’t even know why I posted the video, even with my friend’s incessant convincing.

I woke up the other day and found that a video my friend had convinced me to post in a drunken haze had over 3 billion views. “Shit”, I thought to myself. “This does not bode well for me and my job. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck shit. ...