⚠️TW: VENT POST! CONTAINS SENSITIVE TOPICS⚠️

I don’t want to be this way

I don’t want to yearn for the blade

My wrists tingling

Numb from my desires

I don’t want to be the overly emotional

Sensitive

Breakable person that everyone walks on egg shells around

When I see you…

My wrists tingle and my heart pounds

I don’t want to feel this way

Why must I associated love with pain

Carv...

Handmade things are much more sentimental…

Growing up my grandma was my best friend, sometimes I think she still is.

Handmade me a soft cast for my broken heart every time I needed it she would

I watched a lot of price is right

Easily detecting fools gold is my talent

My grandma handmade me into the person I am today

DNA doesn’t matter

Love does....

If I had nine lives I would spend my first one drowning

Feeling the water seep into my lungs

Stealing my oxygen

Stripping me of my breath…

In my second life I would live by the ocean

No longer fearing what lurks underneath

Uncovering the secrets of depths no human could venture to before

In my third life I would leave the ocean

The time I spent with her was great but there's more for me to see

...

I always loved you fiery, ginger hair

I would be lying…

Lying if I said it wasn’t why you caught my eye—

But oh how I came to love you so

We would sit outside by the bleachers—

Our hands intertwined.

Our hearts melting…

Sharing an orange.

Now you are gone—

But not gone from my heart,

I doubt you ever shall be.

I hope in another universe

You are still there

Your hands intertwined with mine…

An...

I’ve never heard your voice

Yet I know the sound it would make—

Like sunlight spilling through the open windows ,

Soft

Uninvited

And suddenly everywhere

Your hair firey orange that catches the light as though it was made for it,

As though the sun herself pauses to stare

Your eyes…

Blue like the place where the sea meets land

Pulling me in with a calmness I can’t explain

Lost ...

Inside the theater that is our home,

I perform for you…

Masking facets of my identity to play into the character,

The character you want.

When you look into my eyes…

Do you see your mistakes?

The years of regret and struggle…

I am performing in your history,

As you dissect my mistakes,

While I disgrace you…

All because I liked a boy.

I don’t want to be you,

I don’t want to live in your mista...

What am I without my sins

Every line running across my dry skin

Every time I shed a tear for the wrong and right reasons

Every time I kissed and told

Every dirty little lie

What am I without my sins

Without the poisons I consume

Not caring what it does to my body

What am I?

My sins make me me

What am I without my sins

The truth is I’ll never know

My sins have consumed me since bi...

I saw a feather on the ground

One little lone feather

As I picked it up…

I thought about this little feathers journey

It began its life, surrounded by its family on the body of the bird

Soaring through the sky seeing the world

Premium view

Yet as fate would have it

We found each other

Me and the little lone feather…

Meeting

Does the little feather wonder about my life before our fate...

Your favorite color is black.

I smiled quietly…

it’s mine as well.

Black like the sky just before the stars

decide to show themselves,

soft and vast,

holding space for every light waiting to be seen.

It’s not absence,

but a kind of fullness

the kind that holds mystery,

the calm before the world shifts.

There’s something about that color

the way it feels like a secret,

something only a few under...

This town is built over lies

Over dead bodies

The trees we pick our fruit from

Tainted by the spilled blood of our ancestors

The halls we walk down once walked through by people we now dare not name

The halls are poisoned

The doors hiding secrets

Every creak in a floor board telling echoing tales of sorrow

Grief

Affairs

Lies

This town is built over lies

The shallow graves we bury our dar...