Let me start off by saying there was

no holy light

I had no urge to go toward anything

but had the urge to

fight.

And let me make clear I have never

stated aloud that I want to die

because I’m not sure if I really do

or if I just want to have a good

cry.

There have been times where

the only one I trusted was God

and there have been times where

I cursed Him and begged Him to

**stop**.

Both ...