warm morning

sunlight filtering through the curtains

the breeze from the cracked window

her in my arms

her breaths fanning my face

my arm around her waist

the sun illuminates her skin. the parts you could never see unless you woke up beside her

the raised lines

you’d never know

theyve healed and disappeared

but in the morning’s magic

they’re revealed to me

our burden to bear...

high above the city i see the girl in the mirror

i see her push her chest in and grow her hair out

i hear her love confessions in the night for people who wont ever know

i see the crystals slide down her face

ive known who she is all this time but why doesnt she...

you know i was walking through a field

and i had my umbrella

because its may

and it always rains in may

but it didnt

i had to check my watch

maybe its june?

but i havent graduated

its may

and its not raining

and im in a field

lost and looking for a ride i called

because it was raining

but its not raining and it never was

i was so sure itd rain

its may

but it wont

i dont need the r...

I feel so much so often. So many things hurt. Crying feels so good because I couldn’t do it for so long. I love bleeding. I am so good at not making myself bleed but every time it happens on accident I am purely elated. Temporary relief. A memory I’ll hold when the cravings come in. A gorgeous paradise I’ll imagine when I wish the liquid was pouring from my veins into a river on the ground so that...

i had a dream we stared at the stars as you held me dearly in your arms

my heart beat and twisted because that was where i was meant to be

it was perfect until i woke up and my eyes overflowed with the sea

because its been months and youre over me

i remember idolizing the dreams as our future one day

no matter if you were too scared to come out as gay

we were going to lay in flower fields in...

i used to dream

id assume her position at my middle school

id make a positive difference in the lives of kids

just like she did to me and so many others

but the thing is

i dont want to

be in the same building that kept me alive in my darkest days?

walk the halls i grew up in?

the ones i first admitted i didnt want to be alive in?

the ones where i told her i cut myself the night before?

th...

one girl

i gave her a referral

i wanted her to hold my heart

i thought love would be like art

it didnt make sense

am i the one who repents?

i loved her

i wanted no other

yet here i am

broken and bam!

now im alone again

making me wonder if i like men

and shes still in my heart

it really fucking wasnt art...

it feels embarrassing to exist

im embarrassed to be walking around in my ugly face acting like im normal

like maybe i look okay

i dont

i look so bad

everyone’s clear skin reflects on the red scabs of my picked and oily skin

everyones clothing style and body shape is towered over by my odd curves and weird, ugly style

my body does the clothes no justice and vice versa

it’s embarrassing to b...

i dont understand

sometimes i feel fat and ugly

i look in the mirror and my face is so disgusting i can’t be around others

other times i think maybe im pretty

maybe i have nice eyebrows

maybe my eyes are a pretty green

maybe my large teeth match my face

or maybe theyre yellow

maybe my eyebrows are unkempt

maybe my eyes are plain

maybe im hideous...

i have a deep desire to be a good person

to imrove someones life

the world

save someones life

i feel guilty if i scroll past the video of a dyind pet begging for money to fund life-saving surgery

i dont regret it when i give all my cash to the people on the street who need it more than me

i wish that i picked up every piece of trash i saw on my walks

i didnt. i should have

every time i thi...