I sputter

Water holding my insides in one hand

The other in soaked in blood

I can’t breathe

Every

Single

Breath

Is taken away

Hurts and aches

Bruises my lungs

My heart

Is

Breaking

Oh wait..?!

How good is it to be breathing again

Suddenly I am ok

But the others still see I am drowning

So I shout

Scream

Silence them

Hyperventilating

Social anxiety

Identity

This was my normal ...

I stare at nivana , portrayed as a villain In a cruel story that she never wanted written .

I feel bad but then…

I

See…

ThE

victim that is threatened by a jagged grenade of glass , my sister , my beautiful sister!

All the rage of the breakup come bellowing out , at least I thought they did as all I can...

I remember when they found me , cold wrapped round me - my only blanket .

My only comfort the mist

The cold .

The jeering voices .

They took me in ,relaxing my frozen bones .

That was my home .

Now years have passed .

They still feed me , need me ; love me like I love them .

All i ok ....

My last attempt ,

My last effort .

All comes down to this .

What is it?!

What is this endless goal ?!

Where fiction melt into -

What is that sound ?

Should I worry ?

No - today I will be normal ....

So I do , I run and run and run .

Then I Stop again voices .

Pain .

Blurry .

….....

But darling I know longer need you .

You’ve been brave but I am braver .

I am a whole and you are a half .

We can’t rebuild this , but we can move on .

No .

I can move on and you can stay right here for me to circle back when times are tough .

Oh darling , You’ve come back , but I no longer need you ....

His worried eyes meet hers .

“Promise?”

But she doesn’t reply .

He says it everyday.

But time melts away .

And minutes turn to years .

Mixed with their tears .

And so he says it again .

“Be careful out there “...

“Quack”

What is that noise ?!

“QuAcK!”

I open the door .

A goose that has fluffy feathers .

As white as you could ever imagine .

Standing there as the rain bounces off him , his energy is catching and -

“QUACK!”

Ok frank what is it ?

“QuAAccK!”

Fine I’ll let you -

“Quack !”

Turning on the translator …

“Helloo humans “

“I is frank “

“The only way I could say what I want is through this “

“ P...

“Look, I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it right now !”

My voice cracked .

My words unable to come out .

Then his voice .

A shout .

“Say it !”

Then it retreats to a whisper .

“Say it”

So I do .

Tell him everything .

How it happened .

Funny How mere words can make a difference.

But they did for me .

And they can for you .

So say it ....

The smell of musky memories .

Memories of the past that have never come to light and hope that has been there forever.

Hope ,that one day , I will find them again .

The bumpy texture of the toys he loved .

His crunch of his favourite food .

The ding ding of his bell .

He loved us .

We loved him .

I wish I could repay.

****

**Oh the way his fur felt - how one day it grew matted .**

**Until we co...