Rachel realizes how much she hates herself as the Uber, a dented Mercedes, lurches up the mountain road. It’s something to do with how the driver, Anatoly, mutters unintelligibly, how she’s squeezed in the back seat between Rusty and Patrick, how the ski trip, which wasn’t her idea, is becoming more real than any other journey she’s taken. Sunlight burns her eyes. She’s strangled by shoulds. She s...

I sit, silently observing, as you hug your daughter. She just came home from school, cheeks flushed from the cold and eyes bright with excitement.

The hug was so casual, lacking of any kind of urgency. The kind of hug that you give when you know there will be a million more to come. One at bedtime later, perhaps another in the morning. My hands cup my wine glass as I suddenly feel like an outside...

December 18, 2022

To whom it may concern,

I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. I am writing you this in hopes that whoever you are, you’ll hear me out. First and foremost, you have to understand something - I have the worst boss on the planet. See, what most folks don’t understand is what truly happens up here in the North Pole.

Everyone assumes that Santa is this jolly man, who practicall...

Baby blue pink balloons bob merrily in the breeze, fixed to the mailbox announcing the location and occasion all at once.

I sit in my car for a bit, radio off. I watch as the other guests walk in, some women dressed in jewel tones like great tropical birds, boxy wrapped gifts at their sides.

The clock ticks, showing the party start time. It ticks again later, showing half pass.

I should just l...

Agent Nguyen was fuming. “You what?”

“Ayyy. It ain’t my fault I’m a lucky.”

Nguyen’s face reddened. “Yeah, dumbass, it is your fault.”

“Yo, careful now. There was a time when someone, Fed or not—“

“Save it, old man.”

Tony Mangenonzo—aka Tony the Shark aka Tony Three Toes—cocked his head and said sarcastically in his heavy New York accent, “You sure you ain’t just jealous, Dougy? I mean, that ...

I didn’t push him away. It wasn’t my fault. It was his. He ruined everything, just when things were starting to look up. He’s the one who burned everything to the ground, turned my best friend against me, left me for dead. The accident wasn’t my fault.

It was his.

I lay awake every night, tormented by his stupid beautiful face.

I can’t push his memory away.

I cry tears of hate and love at the s...

What is the point of living if one is bound to his Maker?

This question has haunted me for the past 92 years of my excruciating existence. The concept of what it means to be trapped and controlled has taken on many forms throughout my lifetime, and even as I now lay trapped with no means of escape, I realize that I must face this question one last time.

I am extended on a coffin made of white. I...

Sleep. It must be nice. I haven’t slept in years. Even when the Body is asleep I’m still laser focused. If I’m not, who will be? No one, that’s who! And if no one is plotting the possibilities, then they would all be sorry. They might not even be what they are today. For some, I’ll admit, that could be nice. Wait. That isn’t the point. The point is they need me.

I wish I felt needed. Instead I f...

I lay wide awake in my bed, staring into the darkness. I see flashes of light from my window, but ignore them. The fluttering lights hurt my eyes, and I’m already too hurt. Emptiness consumes me, just like any other night. I lay awake every night, after waking in cold sweats. I’ve been feeling as though my heart was carved out of my body, and it hangs over me; staring down. That fear lives and bre...