Here's to us!

Here's to this photograph

A snapshot of a moment in time

Where we are all smiling

A rosy-cheeked bride

Surrounded by family

By blood, thicker than water they say!

Cousins, aunts and uncles

All together to celebrate love

But if you peer beneath the surface of this

Perfect portrait

Something seems to be missing

Hard to see without properly jaded eyes

But it's there

A gap

Several, the harder you look

Within those gaps should have been more

Other aunts, other uncles

Grandparents, even a parent

But filling those gaps instead is

Distance

Forced conversation

Awkwardness that only alcohol can cure

We were always outsiders, really

Never quite fit into the

Mold of expectations made

For every relative born

We were never invited on your trips

Vacations paid for with unearned funds

Family values thinly veiling obligation

The ones that mattered most

Were gone

For what seems like a lifetime now

And in their place stood

A quiet rage

Just barely masked by

White wine

A sense of duty and strong feelings of

Guilt

Are responsible for the invitation

Celebrating our happiest occasion

Would not have included them

But for the nagging fear of

Eventual regret

But I let it go

I forget about the memories

I don't have

Because I was never included

Because you made me feel

Less than

And I resent you for it

With a smile