I’ve been running for so long. Longer than I planned to be. I thought it would be a couple of days, a week at most, but now the weeks have blended together and the leaves have started to wilt. My clothes have holes, and my once white shoes are brown from dirt. God knows the last time I’ve had a proper shower, but now it’s all murky water in the middle of the creek, hoping that the bears and deer don’t mind.

I’ve learned that I’m safest when I’m the furthest away from the people that I once called my family. They exposed me to things that I’ll never outrun. I’ve seen things that haunt my mind and keep me up at night. The howls of coyotes are more comforting than the parents that used to waddle me. The midnight showers are warmer than the love my parents showed me.

In the forest, it’s easy to imagine what my life could have been as I peer up at the stars. A big, beautiful home, my siblings playing pretend in the yard, I might even have a dog, but most of all, I would have parents who didn’t mess with the dark.

I trudge through the rocky terrain, trying to avoid the rocks that are like tiny razor blades, as the sweat drips from my forehead. The top of this mountain was beautiful, yet deadly, and now I’ve got to go. The scream told me everything I needed to know. The one I always hear in my dreams, that jolts me awake, my heart pounding in my chest, and fear crowding my eyes. Most nights, I don’t know which one it is– just my mind or the cry that pierces the night. I choose not to find out, so that’s why I run.

I’ve come so close to being one of them. I’ve almost given in until I remember who I am. If it wasn’t for my faith, I would have already run back to them. Let the devil consume me. My parents are so far gone, I don’t think they know that the shadows are buried within them. I still feel their cold hands on me even from miles away.

It’s been weeks since I’ve let it come this close. Last night was a mistake, and I know it’s a small setback. But it’s so hard. I feel the ache within me. Reaching out to be touched one last time. Wanting to see if maybe this time could be different. They could love me like the parents I’ve imagined all my life.

I got too close, and I’ll pay for the product of my actions, but I’m not going to let it make me fail. I’ve worked too hard to set myself apart from that life. So, as my feet hit the ground, I repeat the words that have kept me safe.

Run like hell and you’ll make it out alive.

I dodge branches and ivy vines that try to reach out and drag me back, a small squirrel barking at me from up above. For a second, I wonder what it’s like to see me from its perspective. Does he see me as the enemy? Or am I just another beast in the forest like him?

I wish this life offered more than what I’ve found. A life of hiding and running from something that is overdue. I wish I could be the squirrel on that branch barking at foreign beings– protecting the home that I love.

My heart thunders in my ears as the base of the mountain comes into view, a small clearing ahead. I clutch my chest and let my feet fall into a steady jog, my eyes scouting the land before I give myself permission to breathe. Fallen pine trees and a small owl are the only immediate threats I see. Silently, I glare at the owl. They’ve never been my favorite creatures.

It looks back at me as I let my feet slow, finally sucking in a breath that refreshes my aching lungs. It flaps its wings at me as I pass beside the branch it's occupying. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” I ask the owl as it continues to peer at me.

I get no response, so I continue walking. The first night I ventured into the forest, an owl happened to be my bunkmate. The damned thing kept screeching all night, those big yellow eyes watching me as I huddled between two trees, praying that my parents wouldn’t find me. I swear it was trying to expose me. No matter how much noise I made or rocks I threw, it was there watching me.

I try to forget about the owl as I walk towards the thinning tree line. From here, I can hear the sound of rushing water, and despite the soreness of my feet, I find myself sprinting towards it.

My last drink of water was two days ago, and I feel my body withering. I should have stayed along the creekside like I have been for months. I shouldn't have hiked the mountain. I shouldn’t have listened. I should have been stronger. I knew the whispers were lies, yet I found myself hoping against all reasoning. Maybe my parents sent one final reckoning to make me see they can be heavenly inside.

I stand dazed as I enter the clearing. Nestled between the mountains sits a gorge, a big, beautiful river streaming through it. My body craves to completely submerge itself in the depths of the rushing water. To feel the layers of dirt wash away the sins of my life.

Without thinking, I take off into a full sprint. At the waters' edge, I step onto a wobbly rock before bending down, cupping my hands, and bringing the water to my mouth. It is cold as it runs down my face. I drink and drink until I feel it in my bones.

Then hear it.

The scream.

The blood-curdling scream of another life being taken.

I stumble to get back to my feet, almost falling into the river. My breath starts coming in short gasps because I realize I’m in the open. I’m exposed. I don’t have the shelter of the woods.

I jump from the rock back to solid land and bolt to the protection of the forest, but it’s already too late.

The hair on my arms stands up, and the heaviness hits my chest. The darkness I’ve been running from has found me, and it’s all my fault for traveling up that stupid mountain. For wishing maybe this time could be different.

The snap of a twig has my head spinning, and I see them.

My parents.

Tears sting my eyes as I fall to the ground. Bright red blood runs from both their mouths as a lifeless girl hangs from their arms. Claw marks travel up her arms, and bloodied symbols decorate her legs.

“My child.” They hiss as they drag the girl towards me. “How we’ve missed you.” They say in unison, their pupils expanding and taking over the white of their eyes.

No. No. NO.

Mom drops the legs of the girl and heads for me. I try to get up, but the heaviness on my chest is too much, and the adrenaline running through me is careless– useless.

She bends down to face me, her crimson fingers brushing through my hair, her soulless eyes staring into me. “You have a job to fulfill."

My voice comes out shaky, and tears start pouring down my cheeks, as I pull my face from her hands. “Mom, please no.”

“Stay right here." She orders, "I'll be back for you." She walks back to where my father has stilled, waiting for her. She grabs the girl's lifeless legs and together they start walking.

“NO!” I scream as they reach the river's edge. Slowly, they enter the water. The blood gets washed off their bodies and into the waves, like it might carry away the sins they have committed.

My breath starts coming out in heedless huffs as I watch the scene. It’s like I’m a little girl again. Begging mommy and daddy to leave the dark behind, back when they still had some light in their eyes. Back when mom had some guilt on her sullen face. Back before they totally relied on darkness to be their peace.

As the pair crosses the roaring river, I notice the figure waiting for them on the other side. My heart tries to claw its way up my throat as they extend the girl to it. The creature takes the girl in its arms, the body disintegrating just by the touch of its bone white fingers. The girl's soul floats into the air, and my parents start chanting some distinguishable gibberish.

I need to go.

I dig my heels into the dirt and push my way up, fighting against the heaviness on my chest and forcing my legs to start moving.

With each step, I feel my head start to spin, my predestination trying to drag me into the water to make me like them. To make me forget just who I am. I plow forward until I feel the heaviness disappear from my chest, and I ignore the ear-splitting screech that tears through the gorge as I dive behind the tree line.

Dirt flies behind me as I run and run and run. I don’t stop until nightfall comes and my legs collapse beneath me. My body shakes and quivers as I gasp for breath.

I’m alive.

I’m alive.

I’m alive.

Sweat pours down my skin, and my heart thunders against my chest.

I made it out.

I don’t have to meet the same fatal end.