I'm on my phone again. That's all I seem to do. I’m bed-rotting in this four-cornered van where my days blur into sleep, sitting, cooking (rarely), eating, washing up, and only going out when I absolutely have to—like when the trash bin is full, I need food, or when I get a rare burst of motivation to buy groceries.

I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I’m scared of being seen. I feel shy going outside. I don’t even open my blinds—afraid that people might peek in and see my little house setup… and me. So, most of the time, I’m just on my phone, scrolling endlessly through my feed until my eyes get sore. Then, out of sheer discomfort, I force myself to clean up a little. Haha.

Well, this is an experience, for sure. I’m just waiting to see what’s next. I know this won’t be forever. I’m holding on to the idea that I’m preparing for something bigger. But just so you know, this setup is tough. Other than what I already mentioned, all I really do is think. Constantly. My body gets so tired it begs my mind to stop. It’s funny, actually—like my body suddenly shakes me awake and screams, “Enough!” If I don’t get tired mentally, my body sure does for me.

People really do differ. Some love and enjoy this kind of lifestyle. They use it as freedom—able to go anywhere, anytime. But for people like me, it’s not healthy. It feels depressing. Still, it teaches independence. But at the cost of risks and vulnerability.