My eyes burned, tears only worsening the pain.

I force my eyes close, slowing my breathing.

The pain will pass…

“Alice?”

The sound of a voice pulled me from my thoughts.

“Are you alright?” Marie asked.

Suddenly I realized I was halfway through cutting the onions.

“Yes,” I sniffled. I forced my eyes closed again as another wave of pain teared through my eyes. “I’m just cutting onions.”

I heard Marie release a heavy breath and seat herself in the creaking chair.

The burning of my eyes resided; I took the opportunity to finish chopping the onions.

I placed them in a pan and washed my hands.

As they simmered, Marie looked at me with a questioning look.

“What?” I said, wiping my eyes from the still-lingering burn.

“Where have you been, Alice? I haven’t heard from you in weeks.”

The small tremor in Marie’s voice cut through me.

I didn’t think my absence was that gut wrenching.

“I needed time away.”

“No,” Marie said coldly, “No, that is not a good enough excuse, Alice. For weeks I thought something had happened. Do you even understand what it was like—“

“Understand?” I blurted out. “Marie, forgive my ignorance, forgive my absence, forgive my pain, but you have no idea what it’s like to be inside my head.”

My eyes began to burn again. Tears welled in my eyes as anger was beginning to simmer within.

“Do you think I was living all happy and gleefully here?”

Marie remained quiet, still in shock.

I continued, “I needed to get away from that place, Marie. Too many memories—“ I paused. “The nostalgia was killing me. I had to leave.”

Marie bent her head, avoiding my gaze. “Alice you know you still have people there, people that care.”

I let a small sob escape. My cheeks were soaked from tears. There was no burning.

“I know, Marie, I know.”

Marie nodded. “I’m sorry, Alice.”

I suddenly felt bad for allowing myself to fall apart.

I sat beside her, putting my hands on hers. I smiled. “Marie, I’m happy here, and I’m even happier you’re here. But please understand that I’m still trying to understand myself.”

Marie smiled and pulled me into a hug. “I missed you, Alice.”

I laughed. “Please say for French onion soup?”

“Of course.”