I hold on to you because of the sweet reminder you give me. Your memory brings me back to a time of care-free days filled with laughter. You’re my escape. When i’m with you my mind finds its way back to the days of simplicity. You snatch me away from reality. Escaping reality will not get us anywhere though. Reality is the reason I must let you go. Time has driven us apart. Please understand. They say depression kills. I agree. You never could accept your demons and work through them. This part killed the you I once knew. The couple months leading up to my decision revealed the truth. The man I once loved was gone. Maybe it was just a childish dream. You were consumed by a darkness I could not save you from. You did it to yourself. I do not expect you to realize the hurt and pain you put me through. I know you apologized and admitted your actions were stupid. I know you expressed extreme amounts of regret, but it’s too late for that. It had been for a while. Why I let myself go back to you so many times I do not know. For the longest time alls I wanted was for you to be mine. When I finally got that you had changed. Maybe it simply was because we weren’t as young and care-free anymore. Talking to you didn’t feel the same anymore. I know you think I was leading you on. I promise you I wasn’t trying to. I longed to express the dreams I had for us before you broke me. I gave you glimpses of hope because I got caught up in thinking maybe we could actually be. We both knew we couldn’t. Even you admitted you saw that day coming. But did you really? If you did we wouldn’t be in this situation. I understand you, really I do. Your me when I was chasing after you all those years. Funny how we switched roles. The thought of being the girl you had to settle for would have torn me apart you know. If we did ever try. This is why I had to let you go. It also wasn’t fair to the guy who was interested me. You see he wasn’t new like you may think. He was there during one of the times you completely stopped talking to me for a girl who only wanted to play with you. He came to me when the universe knew I needed him. He was there for me when I was crying and drowning in depression partially originating from you. Then we were distanced. During that distance somehow I wound up with you again. I wouldn’t grow close with that boy till two years later. He would be the one to rescue me from the cycle I was trapped in with you. You and I went on longer than we were supposed to. I will never forget you. I know you’re still healing. It hurts everytime I hear about you being grumpy with the kids, or that you never smile anymore. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. I knew you better than anyone. All our late night talks. I know you. I saw the real you peek out when I stopped by to visit. We hadn’t see each other for four months. Not since the incident. You just smiled and played around. The first time anyone had seen you return to your old self. Because of me. I wish you could find happiness, comfort, and silliness in something else. I have. I need you to move on. It hurts knowing you still dwell on the past. You still live in the escape. Please let us go.