I could barely focus on my textbook laid out in front of me. I reread the same sentence three times before leaning back in my chair, a frustrated groan escaping. We’d both been so horrible to each other in the cafeteria.

I stood talking with the student body secretary at her table when a much bigger body knocked into me.

“Geez watch it!”

Silas smirked “Move next time.”

He went to keep walking until I stepped in front of him.

“You can’t seriously be that arrogant.”

“You can’t seriously be this boring.”

Zane stepped up looking me over, a condescending smirk that I recognized adorned his features. It was hard to tell it was just an act when he looked at me like that.

“Sure she can. Kenna hasn’t changed since elementary school. Isn’t that right?”

Silas chuckled, “That’s true. I wonder if she’d be so dull on her back.”

“I’d rather be smart and dull, than dumb and drunk every night.”

Nancy stood, coming to my rescue. Don’t you idiots have weights to lift?”

They shared a look before laughing and walking off.

I closed my eyes watching his glare come into view. His friends hated me. Pretty much the entire football team hated me. My friends hated him. We existed on opposite ends of the social spectrum and no one ever suspected that could change. We’d been best friends in elementary school since he lived down the street. Growing up we moved in opposite directions pretty quickly. We barely spoke by the time we started high school until junior year when he needed tutoring. His coach practically begged me to help him and I couldn’t come up with a reason not to. The first few sessions were straightforward, then he asked me a question.

“Do you remember when I kissed you under that old oak tree in the park down the street from us?”

Looking up from the textbook, I thought I’d heard him wrong.

“What?”

“I kissed you when we were six. Do you remember that?”

As my face heated his smile grew.

“You kissed my cheek which is hardly the same thing.”

He leaned forward, “But you remember it.”

“Obviously. Can we please focus? I have my own studying to do after this.”

“I think about that all the time.”

“About me studying?” I looked at hi feigning confusion and desperately trying to change the subject.

“About kissing you.”

“Zane seriously…”

“I wanted to actually kiss you, but I chickened out.”

Sighing I rubbed at my temples, “What’s your point?”

Zane’s hand pulled at my chin making me look up at him. His thumb brushed my bottom lip and he stared at my lips, the small crease between his eyebrows becoming more pronounced. I could barely breathe until he kissed me softly. It was quick, over before I could even think about what was happening. Neither of us spoke, he just grabbed his bag and walked out leaving me spiraling. That night he showed up at my door. It was late, my parents had already gone to bed hours before.

‘I’m out front. Took your textbook by accident.’

I padded downstairs barefoot wearing sleep shorts and a cropped tank top. When I opened the door his eyes raked over me.

“Jesus Kenna…”

“It’s almost midnight Zane, what did you expect?”

“I don’t know, but not…”

He bit his bottom lip and then completely lost control. Stepping inside he set the textbook on the back of our living room couch before one arm slid around my waist and the other cupped my cheek. His mouth crashed over mine and it was consuming. My arms wrapped around his neck, heart pounding. He turned backing me into the kitchen before lifting me onto the counter. The cold surface made me gasp and we paused there, foreheads pressed together. One of his hands rested on my thigh, thumb swiping back and forth on bare skin.

“My parents could come down any moment…”

He breathed deeply, his nod barely perceptible.

I remember cursing myself that night for saying the responsible thing. I had been right though, only a minute or so after I closed our front door behind him, my mother had walked downstairs. She’d come down for water and was startled to find me on the could with a textbook. She’d given a motherly speech about how I wouldn’t be able to study if I didn’t get enough sleep. I barely heard a word she’s said. Zane had come back to many nights to count since then.

I scrubbed at my eyes when a soft knock on my window made me freeze. Eyes covered, I listened to it slide open and he crawled through. I dropped my hands and took a deep breath. Zane closed the window behind him and I finally turned to look.

“I cannot believe you just let him say that.”

“What was I supposed to say Kenna?”

“I don’t know. Maybe that he’s a misogynistic pig that was lashing out because he’s intimidated by a female who’s smarter than him?”

“Because that totally sounds like something I would say.”

“You could have said something Zane.”

Standing up from my desk, I stepped towards him crossing my arms.

“Don’t do that.” He groaned

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t pout.”

“I’m not pouting.”

He closed the distance bracing his hands on either side of my face and kissing my forehead. I breathed deeply smelling his cologne. My eyes drifted shut and my hands drifted to his hips.

“I’m sorry he said what he did. It was rude and it made me want to kick his ass, but that’s not how we’ve made this work.” He murmured.

Opening my eyes, I gazed up into his.

“I’m sorry I called you a dumb drunk.”

His smile made my heart melt.

“Can this dumb drunk lay down with you for a bit?”

“Yes.”

He kissed my nose and moved towards my bed. I turned out my lights and the room went black. I could hear him shuffling out of his jeans and crawling into my bed. When the noise stopped, I slid under the covers facing him. His hand slid through my hair to the back of my head and he tugged me closer.

“What if we came clean?”

“We’ve talked about that every way we can. Your friends would barely tolerate me and my friends would either give me hell or be absolute dicks to you.”

“And our current circumstances are better? We can’t even go to prom together.”

“I know, I’ve been thinking about that too.”

His fingers traced down my cheek, gliding over my collarbone and then my arm ending at my hip. His thumb brushed the hem of my shirt, looking for bare heated skin.

“I just want to be with you…”

His kiss was demanding and I arched into it. His arms wrapped around my waist and he arched over me. Hands pulled at clothing and limbs, each of us wanting more until ther was nothing left to pull at. He slid down under my covers, leaving a trail of kisses that had me silently gasping for air. I could barely breathe, the wave of sensations that flowed through me was everything. I gripped the sheets until I found release and Zane followed his trail back up. We panted together his silent question hung in the air until I whispered “I’m okay… I want to.”

“You’re sure? We can wait.”

“I don’t want to wait.”

The next kiss was gentle again and the rest of the night was a night of firsts for us both.

When we woke up the following morning, the sky was barely lit. I kept my sheet wrapped around me and watched Zane get dressed.

“You can stay longer… it’s Saturday. My parents won’t be up for a couple hours.”

“I’ve got to get to the weight room. Otherwise nothing could make me go.”

He kissed my cheek.

“Don’t study all day okay? Do something fun, for me.”

I nodded thinking about painting or calling Nancy to come over.

“I’ll call you later. The guys are probably gonna want to do something tonight but I’ll try to come back tomorrow night.”

Sitting up, I hugged my knees to my chest. Zane groaned kissing my shoulder and neck before claiming my mouth. He quickly turned and climbed out the window leaving me alone. I reached for my phone and texted Nancy.

‘Come over when you wake up. We can watch old movies and eat cookie dough or something.’

Within moments she responded, ‘I’m already up and totally down. Be there in an hour.’

Zane had texted throughout the day. Weight training had sucked. The guys were throwing a party. He missed me. He couldn’t stop thinking about last night.

“Who on earth has been texting you all day?”

“No one.”

“Okay, first of all as your self acknowledged best friend, I’m already here which means it’s not me. Second of all, you’ve been smiling like a fool all day. Third, it’s someone.”

She looked at me expectantly. She was right, I hadn’t stopped smiling all day. We’d watched old movies and studied some here and there, but every time my phone buzzed, my hands move of their own accord.

“Okay, if I tell you, and that’s a big if, you can’t breathe a word to anyone. Not our parents or student council, not even your pen pal.”

“I don’t have a pen pal you weirdo. Just tell me!”

“Okay it’s just…”

I thought about last night, the words I’d whispered in the dark. The safety of being honest when no one could see me.

“Come on.”

I jumped up grabbing Nancy’s hand and sliding across the wood floor on socked feet. I pulled her into the pantry giggling and I closed the door letting the room with no windows become a safe space. Nancy was my best friend, and she loved me as much as I loved her. She would be happy for me… I hoped.

“Seriously? I can’t see anything.”

“Yeah, that’s the point.”

“Okay, okay just tell me before one of us bumps a shelf and we’re buried alive under canned food.”

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.

“I slept with Zane Rimer last night.”

Silence.

I waited for some kind of reaction, but nothing came. I fumbled for the light and flipped the switch to find Nancy gaping in my general direction.

“You what?!”

“Shhh no one can know okay?”

“But why? And… how? What?!”

I pulled out my phone and opened our messages showing her the last few months of us secretly dating and meeting up outside of school.

“Wait… this has been going on for how long?”

“I don’t know, a year maybe give or take.”

“A year?!”

I laughed covering her mouth.

She shoved my hand away laughing. “You’ve had a secret jock boyfriend for a year and you didn’t tell me?!”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. Honestly I wasn’t going to tell you at all, but last night just sort of happened and it was my first time, I just had to tell you.”

“Well now you have to tell me everything.” She grabbed my arms shaking me before looking around.

“Maybe we should go up to your room.”

“Probably.” We moved upstairs and I filled her in on everything. She wanted every detail and it was the closest I’d felt to her in a long time.

“So you’re not upset?”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“But you’re not upset it’s Zane?”

“No, I mean I barely know the guy, but it sounds like he treats you well.”

I smile laying back on my bed. “He does.”

“Our friend group would lose their minds though.”

“I won’t say anything.”

My phone chimes.

‘The party sucked, I’m climbing up.’

I looked out my window to see him climbing the tree. I stood up and opened it so he could slide in. Before I could say anything he was kissing me.

Nancy cleared her throat trying not to laugh and Zane froze.

“You said do something fun… so Nancy came over…”

He glanced at her blushing.

“Nancy… I um…”

“She just filled me in. I’m not gonna tell anyone, but I know.”

Surprised he looked back at me. “You told her?”

“Couldn’t help myself.”

Looking back at her he laughed nervously, “And you’re okay with it.”

“I mean I don’t love that you encouraged my best friend to lie to me but I get it.”

Nancy smirks and Zane shifts uncomfortably.

“Nan you should head home. Before your parents get anxious.”

“Sure, sure. Not like you guys want to be alone.”

She stood grabbing her bag and heading for the door.

“See you around Zane.”

As soon as the door clicked shut, Zane was kissing me again, holding me against the wall with the belt loops on my jeans.

“You could have told me she was here.”

“What fun would that be?”

“How much did you tell her?”

“Oh just you know… everything.”

“Does everything include last night?”

I nodded and he laughed. “You’re sure she won’t tell anyone?”

“Yeah she’s not gonna say anything.”

Nodding he took a deep breath.

“Okay… we’ll see how it goes.”

I kissed him and we relived the night before.