With the church staff ushering me out of the tall, carved double doors with their gloved hands and love clutched between bitter fingers for the last time I’d see, came not even my uniform.

A definite thud, and somehow, I’d circled back to where I started.

I stood at the enterance with my eyes fixed on the bygone wood with gods page crumpled in my hand and nothing else. Silently, for a long while, it seemed as if I’d lost all sense but that of hearing.

Behind me, the ring of a passing bike. It was then I thought; _Oh, I’m outside._

My feet dragged round till I could see the small bungalows opposite the church, with their proud little magnolia trees in bloom for the first time this season. I’d known it was spring, I just hadn’t felt it before.

How fine the air had felt- how light, wrapped its fingers round my arms and looped my hair in easy locks.

Slowly, I brung my hands up to open the crimpled paper and skimmed over with trained eyes. My brows furrowed on instinct when I followed each line with increasing ire, so very close to tearing it apart.

Bullshit.

Still, I couldn’t destroy it more than I already had, and my hatred had already passed too far by my head that it simply didn’t matter that much anymore. I let the page go, hearing it breeze through a gust of wind but not seeing much else.

The passer-by’s had probably become uneasy since I’d stood still for however long, so I began down the street, hands absolutely empty of anything. Where were the keys to my home?

In my uniform.

I’d no shame left of me anymore, but I knew that the way things were, there wouldn’t be much point turning back to knock on an unwelcoming door. No, scratch that.

Looking down, I realised that it had rained in the past few hours, and the sun was out- not as stained glass but as a good brother kissing my cheek. The last time I’d felt this exact way, I remember the creaky swings from maraway park and being too scared to join the kids playing in the basketball pitch.

Was I really free?

Would I finally be able to walk with my eyes ahead, instead of in the sky?

Of course, I didn’t say anything aloud, but if I had really lost everything and stopped believing in my own steps, I wouldn’t have heard some small voice somewhere in the back of mind responding _yes_, so I listened when it also told me;

_Take your time, your eyes will gradually readjust themselves. You can take care of the rest._

There before me, I saw a child struggling with a candy wrapper, and it was the first time I’d decided that, if I don’t have anything else, atleast I’ll have a good heart.