I’m breathing too fast. Every breath squeezes something tight inside my chest. Every breath hurts.

I try to focus on the colours around me. They swiftly merge into a vibrant mess.

My head feels too light. I’m spectacularly dizzy. The world spins.

I try to slow my breathing. In. Out. In, out in out in out inout inout inout i-ut t t

My heart beat is loud in my ears. I didn’t know it could go so fast. I feel every emotion filled surge of blood through my veins.

I try to calm myself down. It’s stupid. I’m a coward. Wimpy bitch! Why can’t you just-

I shut my eyes off to the spinning blur of sharp colours. I try to deaden the mangled mess of noise. I attempt to ignore my heart rate.

Suddenly the spots behind my closed lids dissapear. I’m greeted with a smiling face, warm eyes, kind. I can smell them, see them, feel their hands, gentle on my arms, their mouth is moving but I can’t hear the words. All I hear is the shakily blended sound. The effect is the same.

I can feel my pulse falter and go down at least 3bpm. My breathing slows a little.

Kind eyes. A smile.

The urge to vomit everywhere is still there.

My heart rate slows.

Hands on my arms. Inaudible mumbling words.

I finally stop hyperventilating.

I open my eyes. No one looks back at me. The hands on my arms are my own. My heart rate does not change. My breathing is as calm as it will get.