Basically a real life convo btw😭

I sit down in the school hallway by myself as I sob silently just outside the classroom I just walked out of.

I can’t do this anymore.

Last evening, me and my parents were arguing about me and the kettle. I can’t use a kettle. Yes. A kettle. Because I pass out too often and I’ll burn myself.

Just last night, my legs had stopped working due to my FND and my parents accused me of faking it. You would think that your own parents would never say such a thing. Believe me—so did I. I still do.

This lesson, I found out I won’t be able to drive unless I’m seizure free for two years. Two. Years. I’m never going to be a bel to drive. I can’t even go gfibe hours without passing out.

I press my back against the wall and shut my eyes. Tears stream down my face.

My teacher walks out and sits down beside me. I open my eyes and glance at him. "Don’t you have a class to teach?"

He waves it off. "They’ll be fine on their own for a bit. I’m more worried about you."

I wipe away my tears. "I’m fine."

"Convincing."

I scoff.

"Tell me what’s bothering you."

I consider bottling it up but I can’t anymore. So I tell him. Everything. I tell him how I hate how my life has been affected so much by it—which everyone already knew but nobody knew how much it has affected me mentally— how I’m going to fail in school because I barely come in.

"Zayla, Zayla," he tried to calm me down before I spiral even further. "Calm down. You are only fifteen. You have your whole life still ahead of you. Slow down. You’re doing okay. You’re going to be okay."

"What if I fail my GCSE’s?" I question.

"You won’t. You are smart. You do better than kids that do come everyday and are healthy. But if you do, you can always retake it."

"I don’t-"

"Zayla," he cuts me off. "You are full of ambition, you are smart, you are resilient. You’ve fought more battles than any fifteen year old should do since you were 12. You are brave, and kind and you will be able to do this, okay?"

I nod. "Okay."

"And honestly? If you didn’t tell me all this today, I never would have known."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you always walk in with a huge smile on your face. You’re always so cheery and look at everything on the positive side."

"Fake it till you make it, right sir?" I chuckle.

"Exactly."