Nightmares. Everybody has experienced a nightmare. Even you. Even me. Except I live In my nightmare;because my nightmare is my own mind. My mind eats itself away like a parasitic worm. I feel so deeply I wish I could never feel again. I feel and think even at times I know I shouldn’t. Even when I’m doing the simplest tasks like washing up or drying my hair. To overcome these feelings I read. There is something so exciting so beautiful about reading, never knowing what’s going to happen in the pages lying ahead. Never knowing what’s going to happen is such an exciting feeling that it puts me on edge, when I think about it too much I being to hyperventilate. Which is why I don’t guess or look ahead. Being able to read is like being able to jump out of your mind into someone else’s. With every page the characters progress; which is funny as people often liken life to the pages of a book. Everyday, every hour, every second that passes is like the reader turning your page. Neither the you nor the reader knows what’s happening next. That feeling fills you with so much adrenaline that it swells into anxiety. Reading is like having someone’s life in your hands that you can crush and stop at any moment you want. You overthink every word until you feel like you’re in the book itself. So when I feel like this i am thankful I feel so deeply because I would rather feel everything than noting at all; as when I feel I know that Im still here. So even through the heaviness I know that there is love in the stillness inbetween. Anytime I wish I didn’t feel so deeply, I remind myself that feeling so much is the way my soul speaks. Hence why I shall read and continue to read forever, to feel the heaviness of life when I myself cannot handle it in my own mind.