It’s a cold night as I whisper into the moonless sky.

“Fairy godmother? I need you…”

I wrap my shawl tight, feeling foolish. Why would a fairy godmother help me?

I’m about to turn around and go back inside when I hear a flutter of papery wings.

“Fairy godmother?” I ask the woman who sits gently on the balcony rail.

“Yes, that’s me, my dear! Sorry for my appearance, I had to help fight a troll and didn’t get the chance to freshen up.”

She picks at a patch of dirt on her top.

“Oh, uh. I didn’t expect you to actually show up…” I mutter.

“Why? We are only a call away, after all.” She crosses dirt specked legs together and looks at me hard. “Besides you have a fiancé to kill.”

I blink. “Beg pardon?”

The fairy godmother opens a small scroll she pulled from nowhere. “Oh, sorry. Wrong princess.”

“I’m not a princess.” I say. “I just need-“

“Not a princess? Queen? Lady? Lowly maid in love with a prince? Peasant with magic powers? Animal turned human?”

I shake my head at every suggestion.

“No, I’m a normal person.”

“Oh.” The fairy godmother looks confused. “Then why do you need me? Our slogan is ‘Only a call away for all magical solutions!’”

“It’s my ex. He cursed me and I need help to stop him from turning me into a mouse every time I see another man.”

I talk to the ground so I don’t see her scowl.

“Is his name Mike?”

“… yeah?” I look up at the fairy godmother in surprise.

She’s standing now, star-tipped wand turning into a sword. “Good. I’ve been wanting to beat up that awful warlock for a long time, and you just gave me the perfect opportunity to do it…”

Her smile is as sharp as her blade.