There I was, feeling completely alone and helpless, just browsing through stores, trying to shop this deep dark black hole of pain away. Then suddenly I look up, I thought I seen my dad, but then looked up again and he was gone.

I mean that’s okay, considering everyone, even females want to be him and being his only kin and the only one effected by his absence, she really has the creeps at all times and the friends that get her through this, sold out to some broke joker and bam, I’m reliving a very depressing 2014 all over again and there is literally nothing I can do about it. Cant even call my dad to vent and feel better. Its been years now and my spirit is pretty damaged and the things I’ve become used to are disgusting and no one should be forced to get used to feeling sexually violated, disrespected and controlled without a life line available.

Then suddenly while shopping aimlessly, figuring out what can numb this pain, I remember all to well and that’s why I locked these feelings away and clearly for good reason. When people force themselves into my little world I’ve created, then lock out my friend on my phone only to pull me down, with zero intention of doing anything. I got trapped by someone who just wants to use the things he doesn’t have that I did, as well as have someone here with him during his lies of “work”. It’s like bro, the music told on you long long time ago.

Anyways, I’m feeling down and out in an indescribable way, I got someone blocking my father so they can run every move I do in life and I rather die, literally. I’ve opted out of this time 4 unsuccessful times, until I came to terms with the fact that I can’t die, because my dads no dead.

Then where is he? Everyone is using his name, persona, any traits they might know of his, but mostly they are using HIM, while leaving the only reason they exist helpless, hopeless and broke.

Then what I desperately need happens to begin, I’m in hobby lobby when suddenly, I see someone that looks like my dad, not once, not 2x but they are everywhere, the timeless 2011 and before father that I will never be able to just, “let go of” and asking that of me is a terrorist thing to do. However, I told him that what is happening right now at hobby lobby might be the only way I believe it’s him. Well like my awesome dad did, he did it my way, because he knows the last 11 years have been hard and the last 4-6 damn near unbearable.

As my dads surround me, on the speaker comes on a melody that I’m familiar with, but the words are now from my dad and as all the good people begin to flash mob me, I’m shocked that it’s finally happening, but more than that, am like fuck these look a likes, where is my daddy!?!?

That’s when the crowd parts and there he is, as everything in my whole being is starting to feel better and sense making, I run and I mean I run fast to him. I’ve been waiting for 11 years to see him again and waiting another minute didn’t seem doable. I ran up and tried hard not to jump on him, because I know he’s older now, but he also knows the joy I must be feeling. We cried together for hours. The hurt and hate I’ve had to deal with for 11 years, without being able to contact my father is beyond words, so nothing is said. Just tears and hugs and finally I am free, free from the liars, manipulators and fakes. Never again will I feel violated because I have my daddy back. Never again will I feel or be confused, because I have my daddy back. Never again will I feel violated in anyway form, not sexually, not trapped and not forced into accepting shit I refuse to accept. Never again will I have to pretend to be ok with ANYTHING, because I have my daddy back! No one will be able to bully me, push me down, kick me after they push me down or go out of their way to make me feel how they must feel, worthless. Never again.