This is ridiculous.

I’ve held speeches infront of hundreds of people. Can speak 5 languages and play 7 instruments. Hell, I’ve even jumped out of a plane just for the fun of it.

And yet - here I am.

Can’t even look at them without feeling like my chest is caving in.

I know the signs. Increased heart rate. Shortness of breath. Compromised focus. I know what it means. I just.. I don’t know what to do with it.

I never thought this would happen to me. Never have I felt this way about someone before. It just sort of snuck up on me.

What am I supposed to do? _Walk up and just tell them? _That I lie awake at night thinking about them? That their laugh physically _hurts_ because it makes me want things I don’t know how to deserve?

No. That is not me. That is the one thing I know for a fact I can’t do.

I‘ll just… keep doing what I’ve been doing. Bring them their coffee without being asked. Walk them home without making it seem intentional. Showing up when it matters most.

They’ll figure it out. Eventually. Right?

Right.

God, I hope they do.