It’s been a while since I stopped thinking about my feelings. I’ve been stuck on my dreams, working hard to make them real.

Nightmares keep crashing down on my dreams. I thought you told me we were all alone in this together—so why are you now turning your back on me?

It’s been almost a week since you’ve been gone, but I can still feel your presence here. Sometimes I feel euphoria, sometimes I feel alone. I’ve tried to improve myself… sorry if that wasn’t enough.

Let me talk about my pain, because sometimes it feels like it’s on my neck. Let me share what I’ve been feeling lately. I still can’t get over those days. I want to put in more effort to build myself. I just want to become the best version of me.

There’s no need to wait for the tables to turn when you can turn them yourself. I just want to cool off my mind, so I hope you’re safe and sound. It’s been a long time, but I still feel empty inside. I think I need some space—just to stay away from all this social anxiety and depression. Sometimes knowing who you truly are, or who you’re becoming, helps you fix yourself.

They don’t give a fuck about your feelings, not even your well-being. They just use you, and when you stop giving them value, they throw you away. You don’t even take the time to know yourself better, yet you expect others to figure themselves out. Then what do you expect them to say about you? They only get power over you because you let them.

Worse nights… obsessed with my own feelings, I let them get into my head. I need someone who can take my pain far away from me. I don’t want to feel like I’m the only black sheep stuck in the middle of white sheep.

For real, life is unpredictable—good things never last. You can only spend time with them while they’re here. I’ve shed too many tears into my pillow. All of this is driving me insane. They always check on me because they know I’m really bad at handling emotions. There was a time I lost faith in myself, but I kept it to myself—because none of you cared.